I am still in my 2WW (2 week wait). The first week went by quickly since my mom was here to keep my mind off things. I only had one brake down over only having 1 embie to transfer.
My Mom left on Sunday and I have been alone ever since. I have been dwelling on when to get my testing done. I originally wanted to wait for Kirk to come home. But as my 2WW comes closer, I found that I am running out of PIO. I figure I can go get tested on Friday before I have the RX refilled. That way if I don't need to spend the money on the medications, I don't have to.
I just scheduled my testing for 8:00 AM Friday morning. I won't have any results until the afternoon. Lets hope and pray for a BFP (Big Fat Positive)!!!
I have also had really bad cramping throughout this process. When I made my appointment I asked the nurse about it because I was worried that it was bad. She explained that it is normal and I should not worry. That gave me some much needed relief.
This week is a little tough on me since I am all alone. I am trying to work, find a new place to live, help Kirk with some paperwork while he is offshore, take care of the kiddos, etc. Bailey is my biggest problem. He wants to attack every animal he sees when we go for walks. He is big enough that he could easily knock me off my feet (yes, it has happened many times before). I have to be extra cautious with him when we go out and it puts a strain on me to be that tense and on guard. So far we have been very lucky. But when Kirk gets home, Bailey boy will be heading for some much needed training to stop this and a few other bad habits he is picking up.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
PUPO
Monday was the big day. I went in at 11:30 and they were ready for me right away. I changed into my scrubs - my mom had to put on scrubs to be with me too.
The nurse checked my tummy to make sure I had enough water. I had to have 32 ounces in my bladder so they could direct the catheter into my uterus by ultrasound. Once I was full the nurse called the doc. I was so nervous waiting on him.
When the Doc came in he described to us (Kirk is on the phone at this time as well) that out of the 8 fertilized eggs we only had one grow to 8 cells and become an embryo. The rest grew to 6 cells and then they all just quit growing. So we only had one to transfer. They were going to watch the rest for another day to see if they would grow to be frozen, but the Doc did not have high hopes for them. They were just too fragile.
With only one, I am still very excited - because after all it only takes one! I am hoping this one is a fighter. The whole procedure lasted less then 10 minutes. I was instructed to lay for about 10 minutes and then was free to go home and relax. The next day should have been business as usual but I took it off just to be safe. By Wednesday I was back to work.
My tummy is crampy but for the most part I am doing just fine. My butt is getting more tender from the PIO (progesterone in oil) shot. I feel really bruised.
So....as my good friend says - I am PUPO - Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise!!!!! Welcome home little one! We are praying for you!!!
The nurse checked my tummy to make sure I had enough water. I had to have 32 ounces in my bladder so they could direct the catheter into my uterus by ultrasound. Once I was full the nurse called the doc. I was so nervous waiting on him.
When the Doc came in he described to us (Kirk is on the phone at this time as well) that out of the 8 fertilized eggs we only had one grow to 8 cells and become an embryo. The rest grew to 6 cells and then they all just quit growing. So we only had one to transfer. They were going to watch the rest for another day to see if they would grow to be frozen, but the Doc did not have high hopes for them. They were just too fragile.
With only one, I am still very excited - because after all it only takes one! I am hoping this one is a fighter. The whole procedure lasted less then 10 minutes. I was instructed to lay for about 10 minutes and then was free to go home and relax. The next day should have been business as usual but I took it off just to be safe. By Wednesday I was back to work.
My tummy is crampy but for the most part I am doing just fine. My butt is getting more tender from the PIO (progesterone in oil) shot. I feel really bruised.
So....as my good friend says - I am PUPO - Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise!!!!! Welcome home little one! We are praying for you!!!
Friday, September 16, 2011
The Issue and Embryo update
I read a blog last week that details her dilemma with religion and how they should raise their children after IVF. It really made me think about the moral and ethical background of IVF and the religious aspects of this way of conceiving. Google, my best friend on most days, came through with great sites. The only problem with the sites is they just gave me information that I have either chosen to ignore or didn't think about in my quest to start a family. Now it seems that every decision I make comes with the questions on whether I am doing the right thing. My heart, soul, gut and conversations with God tell me it is right and it is good. It is now my mind that over analyzes.
Being very open about this process may have backfired. On the religious front it appears that most major religions do not find IVF to be bad. However, some condone the use of a donor. I am of the Christianity faith and to my delight, it is not a sin. Then their are the Catholics. They believe in only one from of conception and that anything else is considered gravely evil. Therefore I am an evil doer. It did not dawn on me that I have friends from every religion and every walk of life - and that some of them might be Catholic or condone such acts. It never crossed my mind that any act I do would result in someone thinking I am evil.
It has always been in my heart that the only one that can judge me is God himself. Someone may not like me or be prejudice about me, but they don't have the right to judge me. And if they do, well they will have to answer to God for that, not me. I had this conversation once with a Jehovah's Wittiness (a friend, not one that came to my door) and while that person agreed, they still judged and thought they were righteous in doing so because that is what their religion had taught them to do. Goodness knows I do not want to have anyone think ill of me. It is not that I really care what they think but I firmly believe that they will be sending out negative thoughts and vibes into the universe which does not help anybody. With that said, I am writing it here to remember this feeling later in life, but I am going to let it go to be in the hands of God. I need to get back to a positive frame of mind. And I urge anyone who is going through this to make sure you are only telling people you know will support you and who don't believe you are an evil doer.
Now for embie news. Out of the 27 follies collected from our miracle worker (ie egg donor), 16 of them were mature. Of those 16 - 8 fertalized! They are more fragile than others so we will not have a possible 3 day transfer. My date at this point is still scheduled for Monday. They want to let the little eggies incubate with as little handling as necessary. Doc might check on them once this weekend but it will be a quick and gentle process as not to disturb them. We are very excited and hope that many of them turn into embryos. But it only takes one!!! I am still amazed and fascinated with this whole process. Miracle life in a petre dish! Incredible!
Kirk and I had a great conversation last night about what will happen in the next few days. He is going to free himself up from work so that he can call in and talk to the doctor with me during my appointment. This is a major relief for me since I don't think I will be able to make any major decisions on my own if something arrises. I think it is a relief and honor for him too since he feels helpless out in the Gulf that he can't be here with me through the process.
My mom flys in on Sunday and will stay with me for a week. It will be nice to have her here to help me with the pups and also help me relax. Oh - maybe she will cook too!!! YUM!!! She is a great cook and I sure do miss all of the traditional Czech recipes!!!
Being very open about this process may have backfired. On the religious front it appears that most major religions do not find IVF to be bad. However, some condone the use of a donor. I am of the Christianity faith and to my delight, it is not a sin. Then their are the Catholics. They believe in only one from of conception and that anything else is considered gravely evil. Therefore I am an evil doer. It did not dawn on me that I have friends from every religion and every walk of life - and that some of them might be Catholic or condone such acts. It never crossed my mind that any act I do would result in someone thinking I am evil.
It has always been in my heart that the only one that can judge me is God himself. Someone may not like me or be prejudice about me, but they don't have the right to judge me. And if they do, well they will have to answer to God for that, not me. I had this conversation once with a Jehovah's Wittiness (a friend, not one that came to my door) and while that person agreed, they still judged and thought they were righteous in doing so because that is what their religion had taught them to do. Goodness knows I do not want to have anyone think ill of me. It is not that I really care what they think but I firmly believe that they will be sending out negative thoughts and vibes into the universe which does not help anybody. With that said, I am writing it here to remember this feeling later in life, but I am going to let it go to be in the hands of God. I need to get back to a positive frame of mind. And I urge anyone who is going through this to make sure you are only telling people you know will support you and who don't believe you are an evil doer.
Now for embie news. Out of the 27 follies collected from our miracle worker (ie egg donor), 16 of them were mature. Of those 16 - 8 fertalized! They are more fragile than others so we will not have a possible 3 day transfer. My date at this point is still scheduled for Monday. They want to let the little eggies incubate with as little handling as necessary. Doc might check on them once this weekend but it will be a quick and gentle process as not to disturb them. We are very excited and hope that many of them turn into embryos. But it only takes one!!! I am still amazed and fascinated with this whole process. Miracle life in a petre dish! Incredible!
Kirk and I had a great conversation last night about what will happen in the next few days. He is going to free himself up from work so that he can call in and talk to the doctor with me during my appointment. This is a major relief for me since I don't think I will be able to make any major decisions on my own if something arrises. I think it is a relief and honor for him too since he feels helpless out in the Gulf that he can't be here with me through the process.
My mom flys in on Sunday and will stay with me for a week. It will be nice to have her here to help me with the pups and also help me relax. Oh - maybe she will cook too!!! YUM!!! She is a great cook and I sure do miss all of the traditional Czech recipes!!!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
PIO
The Progesterone In Oil (PIO) was not half as bad as I thought it would be. I really worked myself up for disaster! LOL
The bottle went into my bra this morning to start warming. But I was such a nervous wreck over it that I needed to get it done faster. I ended up placing it in a cup of warm water. Again I googled tips and watched the videos... Stared all woozy at the needle for a while. My friend came into my office to help me. The idea was that I would try it first and if I could just not do it I would have her do it.
We decided that placing ice on the area was not a good idea and I am not sure why it is widely recommended. If you ice it, then the oil thickens up in the needle not only making it harder to pass through but then it goes into your muscle cold. I can't imagine that would be pleasant.
I filled up the syringe with the oil and then mapped out a good spot on my upper right butt cheek. Quickly swabbing the area with alcohol I did not hesitate and just went for it - slowly plunging it in. The initial sting did not last long and it did not hurt the whole 2.5 inches going in. When I was all the way to the bottom the the needle I started pressing on the syringe. It was a very slow hard process to get the oil out of the needle and into my muscle. It took about 30 seconds. Once complete, I did not bleed at all! The slow ache afterwards (still 6 hours later) is what is the worst part, and it is not that bad. I rubbed it for two minutes and now rub it every time I feel it just to make sure. Right now it just feels like a bruise but there is no evidence that I even gave myself a shot other than a tiny little red pin mark.
While I don't look forward to doing it again, I am now okay with it and not scared. The pain is absolutely bareable. It would hurt worse to pinch myself!
I also started the Medrol and cut back to two pills of estrace. I can't believe by Monday morning this will all be complete! Then it is on to the next hurdle - the 2WW!!!
I have news on the Eggies too. But I need to talk with hubby before I post anything. With him being offshore right now it is important to me that he hears any baby news first. I am sure he would appreciate it too!!!
The bottle went into my bra this morning to start warming. But I was such a nervous wreck over it that I needed to get it done faster. I ended up placing it in a cup of warm water. Again I googled tips and watched the videos... Stared all woozy at the needle for a while. My friend came into my office to help me. The idea was that I would try it first and if I could just not do it I would have her do it.
We decided that placing ice on the area was not a good idea and I am not sure why it is widely recommended. If you ice it, then the oil thickens up in the needle not only making it harder to pass through but then it goes into your muscle cold. I can't imagine that would be pleasant.
I filled up the syringe with the oil and then mapped out a good spot on my upper right butt cheek. Quickly swabbing the area with alcohol I did not hesitate and just went for it - slowly plunging it in. The initial sting did not last long and it did not hurt the whole 2.5 inches going in. When I was all the way to the bottom the the needle I started pressing on the syringe. It was a very slow hard process to get the oil out of the needle and into my muscle. It took about 30 seconds. Once complete, I did not bleed at all! The slow ache afterwards (still 6 hours later) is what is the worst part, and it is not that bad. I rubbed it for two minutes and now rub it every time I feel it just to make sure. Right now it just feels like a bruise but there is no evidence that I even gave myself a shot other than a tiny little red pin mark.
While I don't look forward to doing it again, I am now okay with it and not scared. The pain is absolutely bareable. It would hurt worse to pinch myself!
I also started the Medrol and cut back to two pills of estrace. I can't believe by Monday morning this will all be complete! Then it is on to the next hurdle - the 2WW!!!
I have news on the Eggies too. But I need to talk with hubby before I post anything. With him being offshore right now it is important to me that he hears any baby news first. I am sure he would appreciate it too!!!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Retrieval Day!
I have been a nervous reck all day! It is late afternoon and I still have not heard from the nurse. At 3:30 pm I got tired of waiting so I called but was only able to leave a message.
Yesterday I got a song stuck in my head and it is still there today. It kind of cheers me up so I guess it is not all that bad! "Come on and ease on down, ease on down, ease on down the road - Don't you carry nothing that might be a load - come on and ease on down the road!!!". I think it is from The Wiz (is that the name?) the remake of The Wizard Of OZ with Michael Jackson. How is it that the last two songs that have been in my head are related to Michael Jackson? So strange since I never really listened to him.
Our Sadie is doing great from her surgery. She came home all stitched up - she had a mole and a tumor removed from her neck, and two tumors removed from her shoulders. Plus she had a tooth pulled and has stitches in her mouth. Poor baby girl! They also found with the xray that she has a small murmur and one side of her heart is enlarged. But it is not bad enough to put her on medication yet. They just said we need to monitor it at least once a year. She is very active now and doing just fine. The doc said she could go back to eating regular food right away but I disagree. I have her on soft canned food until those stitches disolve in her mouth. I don't want anything to bother her gums or create any infections.
The nurse just called me back... they retrieved 27 eggies!!! WOW. But the big warning is that large numbers means there will be many that are not mature. So I am still hoping for around 10 good ones!!! The nurse was a bit surprised that I asked about the donor to make sure she was alright from the proceedure. She is doing just fine - and I am sure happy to be done with this! LOL
Yesterday I got a song stuck in my head and it is still there today. It kind of cheers me up so I guess it is not all that bad! "Come on and ease on down, ease on down, ease on down the road - Don't you carry nothing that might be a load - come on and ease on down the road!!!". I think it is from The Wiz (is that the name?) the remake of The Wizard Of OZ with Michael Jackson. How is it that the last two songs that have been in my head are related to Michael Jackson? So strange since I never really listened to him.
Our Sadie is doing great from her surgery. She came home all stitched up - she had a mole and a tumor removed from her neck, and two tumors removed from her shoulders. Plus she had a tooth pulled and has stitches in her mouth. Poor baby girl! They also found with the xray that she has a small murmur and one side of her heart is enlarged. But it is not bad enough to put her on medication yet. They just said we need to monitor it at least once a year. She is very active now and doing just fine. The doc said she could go back to eating regular food right away but I disagree. I have her on soft canned food until those stitches disolve in her mouth. I don't want anything to bother her gums or create any infections.
The nurse just called me back... they retrieved 27 eggies!!! WOW. But the big warning is that large numbers means there will be many that are not mature. So I am still hoping for around 10 good ones!!! The nurse was a bit surprised that I asked about the donor to make sure she was alright from the proceedure. She is doing just fine - and I am sure happy to be done with this! LOL
Monday, September 12, 2011
09.12.11
Nurse called me on Saturday. Our Donor's hormone levels are still way too high. They need to be careful with her so they have now postponed the retrieval. It appears that she will go in on Wednesday now. That will push my date back some but at this point I don't really care. What is most important is her health so if it takes longer, I am fine with that.
I took our kiddos in to the vet today. Bailey needs a checkup and Sadie needs a few shots, a dental cleaning, and 4 moles removed and tested. The nurse sprung on me "We have a note in the file that we recommended a chest ex ray for Sadie last time you were in." She caught me off guard because I had no idea what she was talking about. She then explained that they think Sadie has developed a heart murmur. Ummm...excuse me???? It has been at least 4 months since I have been in and not once has anyone mentioned this to me! If they would have told me I would have had the ex ray done right then and there!!! I am extremely angry! This is the second time they have failed to give me vital information about my kiddos. I decided to leave them there today because the surgeon is good. But this will be the last time we set foot in that facility. I will be on the hunt for a new Vet starting tomorrow. When it comes to our kiddos, this is unacceptable!
I went on YouTube to see if there were any videos of people giving/getting a progesterone in oil shot since I don't know how to give it. I was overloaded with information. I watched several instructional videos and then a few armature videos of girls getting their shot. YUCK!!!! It made me woozy! I am not looking forward to this at all! I hope I can eventually switch to a pill or something!
Some tips I found:
1. Warm the bottle either by keeping it close to your skin for about 30 minutes or by using a heating pad. This makes it body temperature and also makes the oil more fluid.
2. Use an ice pack in the area where you are going to give the shot
3. Once the needle is in, pull back on the plunger to make sure you have not hit a blood vein
4. Slowly push the plunger - it should take you 20 seconds or longer to unload the syringe
5. Put pressure on it after to stop any bleeding
6. Massage the area for at least 2 minutes afterwards to make sure it gets pushed through the muscle. Otherwise painful knots will form.
Oh boy...
I took our kiddos in to the vet today. Bailey needs a checkup and Sadie needs a few shots, a dental cleaning, and 4 moles removed and tested. The nurse sprung on me "We have a note in the file that we recommended a chest ex ray for Sadie last time you were in." She caught me off guard because I had no idea what she was talking about. She then explained that they think Sadie has developed a heart murmur. Ummm...excuse me???? It has been at least 4 months since I have been in and not once has anyone mentioned this to me! If they would have told me I would have had the ex ray done right then and there!!! I am extremely angry! This is the second time they have failed to give me vital information about my kiddos. I decided to leave them there today because the surgeon is good. But this will be the last time we set foot in that facility. I will be on the hunt for a new Vet starting tomorrow. When it comes to our kiddos, this is unacceptable!
I went on YouTube to see if there were any videos of people giving/getting a progesterone in oil shot since I don't know how to give it. I was overloaded with information. I watched several instructional videos and then a few armature videos of girls getting their shot. YUCK!!!! It made me woozy! I am not looking forward to this at all! I hope I can eventually switch to a pill or something!
Some tips I found:
1. Warm the bottle either by keeping it close to your skin for about 30 minutes or by using a heating pad. This makes it body temperature and also makes the oil more fluid.
2. Use an ice pack in the area where you are going to give the shot
3. Once the needle is in, pull back on the plunger to make sure you have not hit a blood vein
4. Slowly push the plunger - it should take you 20 seconds or longer to unload the syringe
5. Put pressure on it after to stop any bleeding
6. Massage the area for at least 2 minutes afterwards to make sure it gets pushed through the muscle. Otherwise painful knots will form.
Oh boy...
Friday, September 9, 2011
Nerves
We are in the final days of the IVF transfer. No later then Saturday of next week I will have two tiny embryos placed in my tummy. My nerves are already shot. I am so excited and scared at the same time. I can't believe it is almost here.
I went to the doctor yesterday for my sonogram. I am fully ready. My lining is better than what they were expecting it to be at this stage. That is a good sign. On top of that, our donor is also moving faster than expected. They cut back on her estrogen just to keep her in line. She looks like she will be producing about 10 eggs. Doc said that he will give her the shot on Saturday to start the process and then she will go in for surgery (egg removal) first thing Monday morning. Of course I don't know all of the details, but that is what I came away with. Then it will be 3-5 days from Monday before it is my turn. I was given a sheet of instructions from the nurse that I must keep on me at all times so I can write in the blanks - it is my final instructions for the meds. I will be stopping some things and starting others.
My brain is swimming lately so my memory is not very detailed and I am pretty forgetful. And my tummy just feels funny. With all of the hormones, the doc said I should feel like I am about to start my period - or like I am already pregnant since I am holding a lot of extra fluid. It is a very strange feeling.
About the 10 eggs. I was pretty disappointed with the numbers. But everything I read stated it is better to have less good ones than it is to have many mediocre ones. Doc said the same thing. He said she is at the right number and they are decreasing her meds so she does not produce anymore just to be safe. So now I am happy with the numbers and pray they are all perfect!
Today I upped my estrogen to three pills a day. Boy let me tell you - I really do FEEL the difference. My moods are changing more quickly but with my fuzzy memory I am pretty sure I have more of a blank look on my face than any type of other look. Some of the girls in the office are getting a kick out of it. I seem to ask the same question a few times within a matter of minutes. At least I am aware of it so I can try to control it. Maybe it is just too much on my mind and with a shorter attention span and shorter emotional span....Haha - I already forgot where I was going with this but you get the idea. I asked the Doc and he said it is normal.
One of the blogs I read - I am going to go in and take it off my page. Today's post was so poorly written that I cannot bare to read it any longer and really don't want to subject anyone else to it. I write this blog for fun and also to let others know they are not alone. I am well aware that I am the worst speller ever. But this blog that I read is more of an informative blog - something like everything you need to know about fertility or infertility. I expect someone who has such a blog would be educational about the subject. Not only were some of the facts wrong in the post, but the writer wrote like they were at a grade school level - missing words, unclear sentences, wrong use of phrases. It lost my attention in the first paragraph when I had to reread 4 of the sentences trying to understand what they were saying.
I went to the doctor yesterday for my sonogram. I am fully ready. My lining is better than what they were expecting it to be at this stage. That is a good sign. On top of that, our donor is also moving faster than expected. They cut back on her estrogen just to keep her in line. She looks like she will be producing about 10 eggs. Doc said that he will give her the shot on Saturday to start the process and then she will go in for surgery (egg removal) first thing Monday morning. Of course I don't know all of the details, but that is what I came away with. Then it will be 3-5 days from Monday before it is my turn. I was given a sheet of instructions from the nurse that I must keep on me at all times so I can write in the blanks - it is my final instructions for the meds. I will be stopping some things and starting others.
My brain is swimming lately so my memory is not very detailed and I am pretty forgetful. And my tummy just feels funny. With all of the hormones, the doc said I should feel like I am about to start my period - or like I am already pregnant since I am holding a lot of extra fluid. It is a very strange feeling.
About the 10 eggs. I was pretty disappointed with the numbers. But everything I read stated it is better to have less good ones than it is to have many mediocre ones. Doc said the same thing. He said she is at the right number and they are decreasing her meds so she does not produce anymore just to be safe. So now I am happy with the numbers and pray they are all perfect!
Today I upped my estrogen to three pills a day. Boy let me tell you - I really do FEEL the difference. My moods are changing more quickly but with my fuzzy memory I am pretty sure I have more of a blank look on my face than any type of other look. Some of the girls in the office are getting a kick out of it. I seem to ask the same question a few times within a matter of minutes. At least I am aware of it so I can try to control it. Maybe it is just too much on my mind and with a shorter attention span and shorter emotional span....Haha - I already forgot where I was going with this but you get the idea. I asked the Doc and he said it is normal.
One of the blogs I read - I am going to go in and take it off my page. Today's post was so poorly written that I cannot bare to read it any longer and really don't want to subject anyone else to it. I write this blog for fun and also to let others know they are not alone. I am well aware that I am the worst speller ever. But this blog that I read is more of an informative blog - something like everything you need to know about fertility or infertility. I expect someone who has such a blog would be educational about the subject. Not only were some of the facts wrong in the post, but the writer wrote like they were at a grade school level - missing words, unclear sentences, wrong use of phrases. It lost my attention in the first paragraph when I had to reread 4 of the sentences trying to understand what they were saying.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Chasing Follies
It seems I am chasing follies (follicles). The doctor's office called again right after I wrote the last post. This nurse told me they only see 10 follies. I don't understand how one nurse can see 15 and the next see 10. Both said our donor was moving along nicely and right on schedule. This nurse added that our donors estrogen levels were a bit higher than normal but that did not necessarily mean that she was moving faster, it just meant that we have a long way to go before we really know how many follies she will have. And of course on retrieval date, we will really know how many they got and how many are actually fully formed and ready eggs.
Last night I had a dream that I picked the wrong donor. My head was swimming with "you should have gone with the one with the blue eyes". I woke up in a panic. Did I pick the wrong one? I had to tell myself over and over, "I picked the one that most resembles me. I do not have blue eyes, I have hazel eyes. I picked the right one. She is the RIGHT one!"
Kirk got the call last night while we were having dinner that he was to head back up to Dallas today at 1:00pm to prepare for offshore. He should be back up and working in the Gulf by tomorrow afternoon (10 hour drive to LA from Dallas and then a 10 hour boat ride out to the rig). I am very thankful I had two whole days with him. I miss him so much when he is gone. I had high hopes that he would be home for the "big day". That storm cost us a week so now I have no chance he will be home in time.
This weekend I was thinking about going surfing. It has been a while, since my board is in California - in storage. I am getting the craving for it and it would be a great time to go - it will help me relax and get some much needed exercise. There really isn't any feeling like it - standing on my 10 foot board being carried to shore by mother nature. Ahhhh...Just the thought of it relaxes and excites me. Yes, I will go - Saturday.
Don't think I am any good at surfing. I am probably the worst surfer out there. Just like snowboarding - I love it like no other, but I really do suck at it! I don't care how many times I fall, I get right back up with a smile on my face and my heart skipping a few beats! I walk away from both sports battered and bruised - all trophies of an incredibly journey/experience!
Last night I had a dream that I picked the wrong donor. My head was swimming with "you should have gone with the one with the blue eyes". I woke up in a panic. Did I pick the wrong one? I had to tell myself over and over, "I picked the one that most resembles me. I do not have blue eyes, I have hazel eyes. I picked the right one. She is the RIGHT one!"
Kirk got the call last night while we were having dinner that he was to head back up to Dallas today at 1:00pm to prepare for offshore. He should be back up and working in the Gulf by tomorrow afternoon (10 hour drive to LA from Dallas and then a 10 hour boat ride out to the rig). I am very thankful I had two whole days with him. I miss him so much when he is gone. I had high hopes that he would be home for the "big day". That storm cost us a week so now I have no chance he will be home in time.
This weekend I was thinking about going surfing. It has been a while, since my board is in California - in storage. I am getting the craving for it and it would be a great time to go - it will help me relax and get some much needed exercise. There really isn't any feeling like it - standing on my 10 foot board being carried to shore by mother nature. Ahhhh...Just the thought of it relaxes and excites me. Yes, I will go - Saturday.
Don't think I am any good at surfing. I am probably the worst surfer out there. Just like snowboarding - I love it like no other, but I really do suck at it! I don't care how many times I fall, I get right back up with a smile on my face and my heart skipping a few beats! I walk away from both sports battered and bruised - all trophies of an incredibly journey/experience!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Visit to Michigan
I went to Michigan to visit family - mostly my Grandma since she is not doing so well. I wanted to spend as much time with her as I possibly could. It was a very nice trip with only a few minor setbacks. It is always hard to see your Gma in a condition like that, but she is better than I thought she would be. She remembered me most of the time and she stayed up everyday when I thought she would sleep the day away. We had some good quality time together.
On my return, Kirk picked me up from the airport. It was soooooo nice to see him! It had been over a month since I last got to give my husband a big hug and kiss! We had a wonderful evening and it looks like I get to keep him for at least one more day!
I am now on two pills of estrogen a day and of course all of the other stuff. By the end of this week I will be up to three pills a day. And yes, the pounds are starting to pack on. Kirk had a lovely way of putting it - Gotta have insulation for that oven! Ha... glad it amuses him. Makes me happy that he loves me no matter what I look like. I just hope it is easy to take off once all is said and done.
The doc called on Friday - our donor is moving along nicely. Right now they see about 15 follicles. It could change between now and her surgery date (Sept 14th). I probably won't receive any more updates on her until the big day. She seems to be right on schedule so it probably won't be sooner. Then we have the 3-5 day wait for me before my big day! Woohooo! Roughly 12 days left!!! It really is flying by!!! Keep us in your prayers!
While at the airport, I heard a woman talking about a really good book - so I picked it up. It is called "The Help" and was made into a movie that I think is out in theatres now. From page one I was hooked and I did not put it down the whole flight home. I am going to stop myself from reading it so that I can read it during my two week wait - That way I have my mind on other things than the agony of the 2WW!!!
On my return, Kirk picked me up from the airport. It was soooooo nice to see him! It had been over a month since I last got to give my husband a big hug and kiss! We had a wonderful evening and it looks like I get to keep him for at least one more day!
I am now on two pills of estrogen a day and of course all of the other stuff. By the end of this week I will be up to three pills a day. And yes, the pounds are starting to pack on. Kirk had a lovely way of putting it - Gotta have insulation for that oven! Ha... glad it amuses him. Makes me happy that he loves me no matter what I look like. I just hope it is easy to take off once all is said and done.
The doc called on Friday - our donor is moving along nicely. Right now they see about 15 follicles. It could change between now and her surgery date (Sept 14th). I probably won't receive any more updates on her until the big day. She seems to be right on schedule so it probably won't be sooner. Then we have the 3-5 day wait for me before my big day! Woohooo! Roughly 12 days left!!! It really is flying by!!! Keep us in your prayers!
While at the airport, I heard a woman talking about a really good book - so I picked it up. It is called "The Help" and was made into a movie that I think is out in theatres now. From page one I was hooked and I did not put it down the whole flight home. I am going to stop myself from reading it so that I can read it during my two week wait - That way I have my mind on other things than the agony of the 2WW!!!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Expenses, Expenses
A lot of what I read on the forums is about how much it costs for the different types of IVF. There are so many different types, depending on what someone needs. Ours requires an Egg Donor (my personal angel) so our expenses are a bit higher than someone that is using their own eggs.
I just received a call from my finance lady at the doctor's office. It is that time again where I have to open up my wallet. I am not complaining. I am used to it and we have spent so much by now I am not even sure if I have an accurate figure in my head. I actually get excited when they call me because it means we are that much closer to the "big day". A few weeks ago they called for payment on my Donors medications. Today I actually paid the Donor for her "services" and also for her medical insurance.
This is a bit early for payment to the donor. So I can only presume one thing - she is moving along faster than they expected. If this is the case, we may have our "big day" sooner!!!
Only 18 days left for the implants - and then comes the hardest part...The two week wait (2WW). That is where I wait anxiously for two whole weeks before I found out if the embryo's took and I am pregnant!
I just received a call from my finance lady at the doctor's office. It is that time again where I have to open up my wallet. I am not complaining. I am used to it and we have spent so much by now I am not even sure if I have an accurate figure in my head. I actually get excited when they call me because it means we are that much closer to the "big day". A few weeks ago they called for payment on my Donors medications. Today I actually paid the Donor for her "services" and also for her medical insurance.
This is a bit early for payment to the donor. So I can only presume one thing - she is moving along faster than they expected. If this is the case, we may have our "big day" sooner!!!
Only 18 days left for the implants - and then comes the hardest part...The two week wait (2WW). That is where I wait anxiously for two whole weeks before I found out if the embryo's took and I am pregnant!
Day 3 of Estrogen
My daily regime includes:
3 prenatal horse pill vitamins
3 calcium horse pill vitamins (1500 mg a day)
1 baby aspirin
1 Estrogen pill
1 Lupron shot
1 low dose antihistamine
Sounds like fun doesn't it? Blahahahahaha!
Shoving 6 horse pills down my throat in the afternoon is the highlight. I have to do them all at once or I just can't do it. It has taken many lessons to learn not to gag. Two of the prenatals have fish oil in them and God forbid one breaks open - let just say I have to eat lunch AGAIN.
So far so good with the Estrogen, baby aspirin and antihistamine added a few days ago. I have no added side effects. However, I am now feeling that weight starting to pack on. I have gained a pound in the last few days. And I am hungry all of the time. I crave mostly carbs - which is really bad. I am already 20 pounds over what I want to be, prior to this process. I can't diet right now so I am just going to have to be happy with what I am.
I leave tomorrow morning to go visit my family in Michigan. I still have not called the airline to see how to get my needles on the plane. I am sure diabetics carry them all the time and with my RX it should not be a problem. It will be interesting to see what happens tomorrow.
Wouldn't you know it - Kirk just called and said that they are coming in from offshore because of the storm that is building in the Gulf. They are already at 10 foot waves and it is raining. It won't be a fun 12 hour boat ride for them coming in. I have not seen him in a month - here he is coming in and I have to leave for Michigan!!! He is really upset. So am I but there is nothing I can do and it only hurts me to be down. I have to keep in good spirits. It is what it is and we just have to deal with it. Hopefully he will still be here when I come home on Monday. If not, we will only have about another month to go before he is home again. And who knows - maybe he can come to Michigan if they think they will be here for a few days!
My friend Stephanie has been staying with me since Friday. She just returned home from a two year assignment in Afghanistan along with a business trip in Dominican Republic. She is in the process of buying a house but it seems to be taking longer than they expected. I feel terrible that she has to sleep on my couch, but I am so happy and grateful for the company while Kirk is gone! It fills my days with more than just work and couch potato time when I am home. The dogs love having her there too, especially during the day when I am at work.
I have been reading a lot on the IVF forum I joined. There are several woman that are close to the same schedule as me. It will be interesting to see what happens to all of us. I think I found one that is in Texas too. I sent her an email to see if she is close. I would love to have a buddy here to be each others support through this process. It is not easy in any way. And it makes it that much harder that Kirk is not here with me.
Work has picked up for me. YAY!!! I have pretty much been busy all week. And, with all of the projects I have going right now I should stay that way for several weeks. It makes my days go by so much faster. With all of the new jobs starting up as well, it looks like I will have a steady stream of work flowing in through the rest of the year.
3 prenatal horse pill vitamins
3 calcium horse pill vitamins (1500 mg a day)
1 baby aspirin
1 Estrogen pill
1 Lupron shot
1 low dose antihistamine
Sounds like fun doesn't it? Blahahahahaha!
Shoving 6 horse pills down my throat in the afternoon is the highlight. I have to do them all at once or I just can't do it. It has taken many lessons to learn not to gag. Two of the prenatals have fish oil in them and God forbid one breaks open - let just say I have to eat lunch AGAIN.
So far so good with the Estrogen, baby aspirin and antihistamine added a few days ago. I have no added side effects. However, I am now feeling that weight starting to pack on. I have gained a pound in the last few days. And I am hungry all of the time. I crave mostly carbs - which is really bad. I am already 20 pounds over what I want to be, prior to this process. I can't diet right now so I am just going to have to be happy with what I am.
I leave tomorrow morning to go visit my family in Michigan. I still have not called the airline to see how to get my needles on the plane. I am sure diabetics carry them all the time and with my RX it should not be a problem. It will be interesting to see what happens tomorrow.
Wouldn't you know it - Kirk just called and said that they are coming in from offshore because of the storm that is building in the Gulf. They are already at 10 foot waves and it is raining. It won't be a fun 12 hour boat ride for them coming in. I have not seen him in a month - here he is coming in and I have to leave for Michigan!!! He is really upset. So am I but there is nothing I can do and it only hurts me to be down. I have to keep in good spirits. It is what it is and we just have to deal with it. Hopefully he will still be here when I come home on Monday. If not, we will only have about another month to go before he is home again. And who knows - maybe he can come to Michigan if they think they will be here for a few days!
My friend Stephanie has been staying with me since Friday. She just returned home from a two year assignment in Afghanistan along with a business trip in Dominican Republic. She is in the process of buying a house but it seems to be taking longer than they expected. I feel terrible that she has to sleep on my couch, but I am so happy and grateful for the company while Kirk is gone! It fills my days with more than just work and couch potato time when I am home. The dogs love having her there too, especially during the day when I am at work.
I have been reading a lot on the IVF forum I joined. There are several woman that are close to the same schedule as me. It will be interesting to see what happens to all of us. I think I found one that is in Texas too. I sent her an email to see if she is close. I would love to have a buddy here to be each others support through this process. It is not easy in any way. And it makes it that much harder that Kirk is not here with me.
Work has picked up for me. YAY!!! I have pretty much been busy all week. And, with all of the projects I have going right now I should stay that way for several weeks. It makes my days go by so much faster. With all of the new jobs starting up as well, it looks like I will have a steady stream of work flowing in through the rest of the year.
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