Like I said in one of my other posts - my mom always said I was special. I am so special this week that I have moderate osteopenia. That is the steps right behind osteoporosis (bone loss). I can attribute this to being allergic to milk while growing up and not having a calcium supplement. I can also attribute it to early menopause. It seems like a never ending battle with my health and all I want to do in life.
The good news is that it is treatable. I have already ordered my Vitamin D, Calcium and Prenatal prescribed by the doctor. I have to take 1500 mg of Calcium a day, and of course enough Vit D to wash it down. I was also ordered to take at least 800 mcg of Folic acid. That part I am covering in my Prenatals.
Kirk and I went to Baby's R Us to look around. We were overwhelmed with all of the stuff and it actually made me have a small bout of anxiety. Too much too fast I guess. When there 100 types of strollers how do you know you are picking the right one? Our goal was to each pick out some newborn clothes. He was to pick out the boy stuff and I was picking out the girl stuff. I wanted to buy every cute little dress I saw. We finally left the store with a pink onesy, cute flowery shirt, and a blue jumper with an anchor on it. These items are placed around the house to constantly remind us of the little one that may enter our lives. It brings us such joy - which is more positive affirmation! I plan on going shopping again this weekend, yes Kirk in tow. I want to make sure something is hanging from every door knob! I want to get some baby soap and use it in the shower so that I can smell it and picture holding and breathing in our baby.
I am always open to other ideas if anyone has some!
On the spiritual side, I can't help but pray that a spirit (or two) chooses us to be their parents. I am looking forward to finding out!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Spoiled - almost rotten
I complain about the way my husband, Kirk, spoils our two doggie kiddos Bailey and Sadie. When he is home we go through dog food and treats like there is no tomorrow. I stock the pantry full of treats that should last a few months. I want to give them variety. Well, when Kirk is home, those treats last just over two weeks. When our 80 pound pooch has 4 gigantic poops a day - you know you are feeding them too much. Kirk says that it is because he does not get to see them very much and he has a right to spoil them. I will give him that, but he already spoils them with so much love, the treats are an added bonus. When he comes home, the three of them are stuck together like Velcro for at least 24 hours.
The truth is, he spoils all of us when he is home. I think I get the better end of the deal, though he feeds me too much too. Hahaha. He cooks all of our meals and even cleans the kitchen afterwards. He places the food on our plate to mimic a fancy chef, just to show off his culinary skills and to make me feel like I am so important that only the best should be given to me. He cleans the house, washes clothes, does the shopping, etc. When I come home from work I get a big hug and kiss and he tells me how much he misses me and loves me. On weekends, we hang with nature most of the time. We go on bike rides, walks, hikes and swim. Even though I am not working on the weekends, he still lets me slack a little bit. But by then I feel so thankful and loved, that I want to clean the house and do special things just because I want to give him a break and make him feel special.
I have three love notes sitting on my desk at work that he wrote and snuck in to my lunch bag. I have many more at home scattered around the house. All of them tell me I am beautiful and very much loved.
Obviously we have our problems just like other couples do. But I can honestly say, I am a very lucky woman. Bailey, Sadie and I won the lottery when it comes to Kirk. I am very lucky to have found a man that loves Bailey and Sadie as much as I do and takes such good care of us. I love him so much and miss him when he goes off to work. He leaves tomorrow for a big job and won't be home for almost 2 months. I am already sad just preparing for his departure.
The truth is, he spoils all of us when he is home. I think I get the better end of the deal, though he feeds me too much too. Hahaha. He cooks all of our meals and even cleans the kitchen afterwards. He places the food on our plate to mimic a fancy chef, just to show off his culinary skills and to make me feel like I am so important that only the best should be given to me. He cleans the house, washes clothes, does the shopping, etc. When I come home from work I get a big hug and kiss and he tells me how much he misses me and loves me. On weekends, we hang with nature most of the time. We go on bike rides, walks, hikes and swim. Even though I am not working on the weekends, he still lets me slack a little bit. But by then I feel so thankful and loved, that I want to clean the house and do special things just because I want to give him a break and make him feel special.
I have three love notes sitting on my desk at work that he wrote and snuck in to my lunch bag. I have many more at home scattered around the house. All of them tell me I am beautiful and very much loved.
Obviously we have our problems just like other couples do. But I can honestly say, I am a very lucky woman. Bailey, Sadie and I won the lottery when it comes to Kirk. I am very lucky to have found a man that loves Bailey and Sadie as much as I do and takes such good care of us. I love him so much and miss him when he goes off to work. He leaves tomorrow for a big job and won't be home for almost 2 months. I am already sad just preparing for his departure.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Who's my neighbor?!?!
Kirk and I love to go across the street from our apartment complex into the rich neighborhood. It is nice to take the dogs through on a walk, or ride our bikes down the tree covered streets. The houses are sitting on a few acres - which is rare for that area. It is like a little hidden treasure close to uptown. There are small and big houses and even just plots of land waiting for a house. We like to peer in through the gates and dream about what we would do with a yard and a house like that. Other times we laugh at the ridiculous architecture or gaudy accents. It is amazing what people can do with their houses. One even has a fake grass driveway - mind you the rest of the yard is real grass.
Our favorite thing about this neighborhood is the peacocks. One of our lovely neighbors decided to get a pair as pets. I have no idea how many years ago that was, but I can assure you they have multiplied like rabbits. Now they are all over the neighborhood and in the streets. The males are so beautiful, especially during mating season. I could sit and watch them for hours.
One day Kirk and I were at the pool hanging out with one of our neighbors. We were talking about the neighborhood across the street and the peacocks. Then he mentioned that the house on the corner (the one with three massive buildings on it) was Yao Mings house. Could this be? Are we neighbors to a famous basketball player? It appears the main mansion is Yao Mings house, the second mansion is where his family lives and the third - the larges of the three - is Yao's personal gymnasium, complete with an indoor basketball court. I guess it makes sense that would be his property - right across the street (on my side of the neighborhood) is the Yao Ming family restaurant. Pretty cool...
I drive by his house everyday after work - that neighborhood my shortcut home from the main streets. I can't help but look at that house now and wonder who is there at that moment. I am sure there are other famous people on that street. I guess I am better not knowing. Especially since I like waiving to my new neighbor Yao!
Our favorite thing about this neighborhood is the peacocks. One of our lovely neighbors decided to get a pair as pets. I have no idea how many years ago that was, but I can assure you they have multiplied like rabbits. Now they are all over the neighborhood and in the streets. The males are so beautiful, especially during mating season. I could sit and watch them for hours.
One day Kirk and I were at the pool hanging out with one of our neighbors. We were talking about the neighborhood across the street and the peacocks. Then he mentioned that the house on the corner (the one with three massive buildings on it) was Yao Mings house. Could this be? Are we neighbors to a famous basketball player? It appears the main mansion is Yao Mings house, the second mansion is where his family lives and the third - the larges of the three - is Yao's personal gymnasium, complete with an indoor basketball court. I guess it makes sense that would be his property - right across the street (on my side of the neighborhood) is the Yao Ming family restaurant. Pretty cool...
I drive by his house everyday after work - that neighborhood my shortcut home from the main streets. I can't help but look at that house now and wonder who is there at that moment. I am sure there are other famous people on that street. I guess I am better not knowing. Especially since I like waiving to my new neighbor Yao!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Sonohistogram
Such a long word - sonohistogram. And it is one I wish to never hear again in my lifetime. This was the last of my testing for the IVF - a simple procedure that should take about 15 minutes. They take a sonogram from the inside of your uterus to make sure that there are no problems with implantation - a smooth uterus per se.
My mom always said I was special. I hate it when she is right. I am so special that my cervix was too small for the simple procedure. My poor husband accompanied me - and after seeing me in such pain with tears streaming down my face and the two nurses and one doctor trying everything they can - he turned white as a ghost! One of the nurses stated this only happens in about one out of 50 people they see. I am so special that it took me two days to recover, while the woman that was ahead of me practically skipped out of the hospital. I slept for nearly 12 hours that first night and 9 hours the next night. Today I am finally walking at regular speed and just have some minor cramping.
Here is the run down on the IVF proceedures - we obviously had to get an egg donor. One reason is because with early menopause, I no longer have any good eggs. Second, after major testing, we found that I have one too many spacers on my DNA chain. This is fairly new technology and what it tells us is that if we were to have a girl with my egg she would be healthy because she would get one X from me and one X from Kirk. If we were to have a boy, he would be mentally handicapped because he would only be getting one X from me and a Y from Kirk. Without Kirks X, chances would be slim to have a healthy boy. After discovering this, I found out that I have a friend that has the same problem - and she has a son.
So, my eggs exit stage left and in walks anonymous donor number 1. Kirk and I were given a database full of woman that were donating their eggs. We typed in our criteria and up popped about 10 woman with brown hair and hazel eyes. They were as close to my characteristics as we could get. We had gone through this process once before and picked out our top 4 donors. But with the delay in the process, we did not choose one. To my delight, there were some new faces in the crowd to review. I picked out my top three and then Kirk viewed his. We settled on three hoping one of them would be available. Our number one pick had been a donor before and was everything we were looking for - except she is a bit shorter than me. But she is bright (college educated) articulate, and talented (she sings in the church band). Well, miss anonymous donor number 1 was center stage with the spotlight beaming - and she was available!!!
Soooooo, our process begins around August 3, which is when #1 will be ready. The exact date is not set yet, but once she is fully ready we will then begin operation countdown. The whole process should take about 5-6 weeks. Keep us in your optimistic prayers!
My mom always said I was special. I hate it when she is right. I am so special that my cervix was too small for the simple procedure. My poor husband accompanied me - and after seeing me in such pain with tears streaming down my face and the two nurses and one doctor trying everything they can - he turned white as a ghost! One of the nurses stated this only happens in about one out of 50 people they see. I am so special that it took me two days to recover, while the woman that was ahead of me practically skipped out of the hospital. I slept for nearly 12 hours that first night and 9 hours the next night. Today I am finally walking at regular speed and just have some minor cramping.
Here is the run down on the IVF proceedures - we obviously had to get an egg donor. One reason is because with early menopause, I no longer have any good eggs. Second, after major testing, we found that I have one too many spacers on my DNA chain. This is fairly new technology and what it tells us is that if we were to have a girl with my egg she would be healthy because she would get one X from me and one X from Kirk. If we were to have a boy, he would be mentally handicapped because he would only be getting one X from me and a Y from Kirk. Without Kirks X, chances would be slim to have a healthy boy. After discovering this, I found out that I have a friend that has the same problem - and she has a son.
So, my eggs exit stage left and in walks anonymous donor number 1. Kirk and I were given a database full of woman that were donating their eggs. We typed in our criteria and up popped about 10 woman with brown hair and hazel eyes. They were as close to my characteristics as we could get. We had gone through this process once before and picked out our top 4 donors. But with the delay in the process, we did not choose one. To my delight, there were some new faces in the crowd to review. I picked out my top three and then Kirk viewed his. We settled on three hoping one of them would be available. Our number one pick had been a donor before and was everything we were looking for - except she is a bit shorter than me. But she is bright (college educated) articulate, and talented (she sings in the church band). Well, miss anonymous donor number 1 was center stage with the spotlight beaming - and she was available!!!
Soooooo, our process begins around August 3, which is when #1 will be ready. The exact date is not set yet, but once she is fully ready we will then begin operation countdown. The whole process should take about 5-6 weeks. Keep us in your optimistic prayers!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Day ??? of 30 Day Challenge
I can honestly say that this it the toughest program I have committed myself to. Everything I read said that the first week was going to be the hardest. They were wrong, from my standpoint. I have learned that I can do just about anything for week. I excelled at this - along with going to the gym every morning before work.
Week two was much harder. Kirk came home and I had a hard time getting up in the morning to go to the gym. Then I was too excited in the evenings after work to go. I wanted to spend as much time with my husband as possible knowing he would be leaving soon. And of course when he is home he takes care of everything - cooking, cleaning, kiddo walking... this in turn makes me a very spoiled lump on the couch. And his cooking does not help my enthusiasm of staying on this challenge.
Kirk read the "book" on what I am allowed to eat and what I am not. He has been very good at cooking within my limits. Every once in a while he will throw something in extra just for him. For example, he made his homemade pasta sauce. I cannot eat pasta so he made spaghetti for himself and we steamed some broccoli for me. I cheated by adding a little bit of parmesan on my broccoli and pasta sauce. It was a small cheat, but a cheat none the less.
Since the parmesan incident, I have been cheating a bit here and there. I am only exercising about 4-5 times a week and I have Parmesan on my salads as well as a bit of milk in my coffee every now and then. All in all I am doing rather well, but not what I expected of myself. Some of my cheats make me feel so guilty or bad that I then get depressed and cheat more. For instance, last week someone brought in a cake. Those of you that know me know I cannot pass up cake. It is a terrible addiction I can't yet control. If I was alone with that cake, there would be none left for anyone else. So, I had a very small sliver - trying to curb my addiction and control my amounts. That was it! After that I had cake fever and had another larger piece. The guilt kicked in and I got depressed for doing so bad. Depression like that is terrible for me because I think "well, I have already ruined the whole day so I might as well eat what I want". Next thing I know I have 5 cookies in my hand - well two cookies in my hand, two in my stomach and one in my mouth. After that I felt enough guilt and stomach sickness that I decided that won't happen again. It is amazing when you are eating so clean how badly things affect you. All of that sugar and processed foods just tore up my digestive system. I don't care how bad my addiction is - I don't want to have to go through that again.
Why am I doing this? Well, there are several reasons. Since I have been married I have gained 20 pounds. Kirk loves me just the way I am - at any size. Fortunately for me, I don't love myself at this size. I am comfortable, but would rather be at a better, healthier weight. The start of my challenge I weighed 160. I want to get back to around 130 to 140. I want to look good and feel good not only for me but for Kirk. He deserves to have a beautiful woman by his side. The next reason is for my health. I have so many allergies, it actually feels good to take away all the stuff that causes me reactions. I have always been allergic to wheat and milk, but in my adult life, I was not sure what those reactions were anymore since they were incorporated in my daily life. I don't always feel the difference, but I can see it. I am not as swollen - my skin looks different, my throat and tonsils are not inflamed all the time and my digestive tract works a little bit better.
Lastly, I am doing it to help me get pregnant. I hit early menopause several years ago and have been tested over and over again just to be sure. Kirk and I researched all of our options and decided that we wanted to try In Vetro Fertilization (IVF). We have been planning this for a year and the time has finally come. Everything is in place now for us to move forward. We have chosen our oocyte (egg) donor, kirk has had all of his testing and I will be finishing my testing this week. If all goes right, I should be pregnant by mid September. I understand our chance are about 65%, but I will be thinking and manifesting it to be 100%. I need to stay positive and keep my mind and body optimistic. I will fill you in more on IVF the next go around.
Oh - and by the way - I have now lost 5 pounds and am gaining some good muscle tone. I even found a yoga class I really like. But it is only available for me once a week.
Week two was much harder. Kirk came home and I had a hard time getting up in the morning to go to the gym. Then I was too excited in the evenings after work to go. I wanted to spend as much time with my husband as possible knowing he would be leaving soon. And of course when he is home he takes care of everything - cooking, cleaning, kiddo walking... this in turn makes me a very spoiled lump on the couch. And his cooking does not help my enthusiasm of staying on this challenge.
Kirk read the "book" on what I am allowed to eat and what I am not. He has been very good at cooking within my limits. Every once in a while he will throw something in extra just for him. For example, he made his homemade pasta sauce. I cannot eat pasta so he made spaghetti for himself and we steamed some broccoli for me. I cheated by adding a little bit of parmesan on my broccoli and pasta sauce. It was a small cheat, but a cheat none the less.
Since the parmesan incident, I have been cheating a bit here and there. I am only exercising about 4-5 times a week and I have Parmesan on my salads as well as a bit of milk in my coffee every now and then. All in all I am doing rather well, but not what I expected of myself. Some of my cheats make me feel so guilty or bad that I then get depressed and cheat more. For instance, last week someone brought in a cake. Those of you that know me know I cannot pass up cake. It is a terrible addiction I can't yet control. If I was alone with that cake, there would be none left for anyone else. So, I had a very small sliver - trying to curb my addiction and control my amounts. That was it! After that I had cake fever and had another larger piece. The guilt kicked in and I got depressed for doing so bad. Depression like that is terrible for me because I think "well, I have already ruined the whole day so I might as well eat what I want". Next thing I know I have 5 cookies in my hand - well two cookies in my hand, two in my stomach and one in my mouth. After that I felt enough guilt and stomach sickness that I decided that won't happen again. It is amazing when you are eating so clean how badly things affect you. All of that sugar and processed foods just tore up my digestive system. I don't care how bad my addiction is - I don't want to have to go through that again.
Why am I doing this? Well, there are several reasons. Since I have been married I have gained 20 pounds. Kirk loves me just the way I am - at any size. Fortunately for me, I don't love myself at this size. I am comfortable, but would rather be at a better, healthier weight. The start of my challenge I weighed 160. I want to get back to around 130 to 140. I want to look good and feel good not only for me but for Kirk. He deserves to have a beautiful woman by his side. The next reason is for my health. I have so many allergies, it actually feels good to take away all the stuff that causes me reactions. I have always been allergic to wheat and milk, but in my adult life, I was not sure what those reactions were anymore since they were incorporated in my daily life. I don't always feel the difference, but I can see it. I am not as swollen - my skin looks different, my throat and tonsils are not inflamed all the time and my digestive tract works a little bit better.
Lastly, I am doing it to help me get pregnant. I hit early menopause several years ago and have been tested over and over again just to be sure. Kirk and I researched all of our options and decided that we wanted to try In Vetro Fertilization (IVF). We have been planning this for a year and the time has finally come. Everything is in place now for us to move forward. We have chosen our oocyte (egg) donor, kirk has had all of his testing and I will be finishing my testing this week. If all goes right, I should be pregnant by mid September. I understand our chance are about 65%, but I will be thinking and manifesting it to be 100%. I need to stay positive and keep my mind and body optimistic. I will fill you in more on IVF the next go around.
Oh - and by the way - I have now lost 5 pounds and am gaining some good muscle tone. I even found a yoga class I really like. But it is only available for me once a week.
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