The nurse told me that I would not have anything to worry about with gaining weight from these meds. One good friend of mine said she only got a bit bloated. Another told me she gained. Allot of what I read states that I will gain. And of course the forum I belong to - the woman have an average gain of 10 pounds. Soooo, I am preparing for the fat.
Saturday I went Fat-tastic clothes shopping. I say this with a smile on my face, and don't look at it a a downer or a negative. If what it takes for me to get preggo is to get fat, well then count me in! I took my fashionable friend with me to help me buy things that will still flatter - and also grow with me for a while. I must say, we did an excellent job! And, I did it all on a budget. I had 4 pairs of pants I recently bought that I exchanged for bigger sizes, then I bought two skirts, a dress and some accent tops.
I was so excited with everything I cleaned out my closet and packed away all of the things that no longer fit me. Of course I am keeping them - I will be skinny again one day! :) I had plenty of room for my new stuff - and even room for maternity clothes when it comes that time.
Yesterday was my first shot. It was not as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, I fretted for absolutely nothing. I do have a slight headache and a few other symptoms. But nothing to really worry or bother me. All are completely normal.
I have decided to cancel my gym membership. I cannot justify paying as much as I do with as little as I use it. Plus it will give us extra $ to save for all of the big events coming up in the near future.
This morning I got up early and took the dogs for a long walk. Then came back and did my wimpy version of push-ups (I suck at those by the way). I then tried my hand at jump rope. I have a lot of coordination to work on before I continue with that - it was not my best moment. And when I mean moment I mean less than a minute of getting tangled and falling in exhaustion. It would have been a priceless America's Funniest Home Videos moment if someone were there to witness it. Kirk jokes that he needs to baby proof the house just for me since I am such a klutz and accident prone.
bye for now!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Surprise in my schedule!!!
Well, I knew that I would have to take some pills to get ready for this, but I was not aware of having to take shots! I was under the impression that my donor would have to do that and not me! I am now armed with about 50 needles and let me tell you, they are not pretty. I took them out of my "goody" bag and I got woozy just looking at them. The Lupron ones are not so bad, but the Progesterone ones are HUGE!!!
Here is my schedule:
up to 08.20 = The Pill (already on this for 2 months)
08.14 to 08.20 = Lupron (shot), Pill
08.21 to 08.28 = Lupron
08.29 to 09.13 = Lupron, Estrace (estrogen), baby aspirin
09.13 = targeted Egg Retrieval
09.14 to 9.19 = Estrace, baby aspirin, Progesterone (shot), medrol
09.18 = targeted embryo transfer
09.20 until further instructions = Estrace, baby aspirin, Progesterone
The Pill = Puts me and donor in sync and suppresses ovaries
Lupron injections = suppress ovaries to enable doctor to control cycle
Estrace pills = estrogen to help build lining of uterus
Baby aspirin = increase blood flow to the uterus and aid in implantation of embryo
Medrol = steroid to decrease inflammation in uterus and help with implantation of embryo
Progesterone injection = helps prepare the uterine lining for implantation and continued development of embryo
Folic acid/ and prenatal vitamin = decrease the risk of certain birth defects
Work has been fairly warned that I am going through this process now. Luckily my boss's wife went through it so she is keeping my boss aware of what my emotions are going to be like. I think I may be a little emotional, but I am sure I will handle myself gracefully at work. It will be toughest on me when I am home alone.
I had a talk with my boss yesterday afternoon about how slow I am at work right now. He was already aware of it, but I wanted to make it clear that I am available to help out wherever I can. I don't like sitting here doing nothing all day long. My time is not being utilized and when I sit idle too long I start feeling dispensable. I have a few big projects that I am working on, but it is always hurry up and then wait. I am in the waiting mode right now. Soon they will be complete and unless we pick up some jobs, or I help out in payroll, I will be sitting idle for quite a while. It looks like in the near future they might transfer some payroll duties over to me. I am fine with that and I enjoy learning new things. It will be a good challenge for me and keeps my mind sharp!
I have been very lucky that I get to talk to Kirk everyday. We found that the later he calls me, the more time we can spend talking on the phone. He now has Internet as well, but only briefly each day and it is enough for him to write me a few sentences. He really likes his shift and the people he is working with. That eases my mind knowing that he is happy. We miss each other greatly, but we are strong enough to handle it and we know that this is right were we need to be now. It is great dreaming about our future!
Here is my schedule:
up to 08.20 = The Pill (already on this for 2 months)
08.14 to 08.20 = Lupron (shot), Pill
08.21 to 08.28 = Lupron
08.29 to 09.13 = Lupron, Estrace (estrogen), baby aspirin
09.13 = targeted Egg Retrieval
09.14 to 9.19 = Estrace, baby aspirin, Progesterone (shot), medrol
09.18 = targeted embryo transfer
09.20 until further instructions = Estrace, baby aspirin, Progesterone
The Pill = Puts me and donor in sync and suppresses ovaries
Lupron injections = suppress ovaries to enable doctor to control cycle
Estrace pills = estrogen to help build lining of uterus
Baby aspirin = increase blood flow to the uterus and aid in implantation of embryo
Medrol = steroid to decrease inflammation in uterus and help with implantation of embryo
Progesterone injection = helps prepare the uterine lining for implantation and continued development of embryo
Folic acid/ and prenatal vitamin = decrease the risk of certain birth defects
Work has been fairly warned that I am going through this process now. Luckily my boss's wife went through it so she is keeping my boss aware of what my emotions are going to be like. I think I may be a little emotional, but I am sure I will handle myself gracefully at work. It will be toughest on me when I am home alone.
I had a talk with my boss yesterday afternoon about how slow I am at work right now. He was already aware of it, but I wanted to make it clear that I am available to help out wherever I can. I don't like sitting here doing nothing all day long. My time is not being utilized and when I sit idle too long I start feeling dispensable. I have a few big projects that I am working on, but it is always hurry up and then wait. I am in the waiting mode right now. Soon they will be complete and unless we pick up some jobs, or I help out in payroll, I will be sitting idle for quite a while. It looks like in the near future they might transfer some payroll duties over to me. I am fine with that and I enjoy learning new things. It will be a good challenge for me and keeps my mind sharp!
I have been very lucky that I get to talk to Kirk everyday. We found that the later he calls me, the more time we can spend talking on the phone. He now has Internet as well, but only briefly each day and it is enough for him to write me a few sentences. He really likes his shift and the people he is working with. That eases my mind knowing that he is happy. We miss each other greatly, but we are strong enough to handle it and we know that this is right were we need to be now. It is great dreaming about our future!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Positive Affirmations!!
I found these on a forum I read and write to - I think this will help!!! Change the impossible to
I-M-Possible!!!
“A man is but the product of his thoughts; what he thinks, he becomes.”
Mahatma Gandhi
“There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.”
W. Clement Stone
"Every thought of yours is a real thing---a force."
Prentice Mulford
"You create your own universe as you go along."
Winston Churchill
"Everyone visualizes whether he knows it or not. Visualizing is the great secret of success."
Genevieve Behrend
"Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions."
Albert Einstein
"Whatever the mind can conceive it can achieve."
W. Clement Stone
"Success comes from within, not from without."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Ninety-nine percent of who you are is invisible and untouchable."
R. Buckminster-Fuller
"All power is from within and therefore under our control."
Robert Collier
"Whether you think you can or think you can't, either way you are right."
Henry Ford
"The real secret of power is consciousness of power."
Charles Haanel
“An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
Winston Churchill
“You've done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.”
Ralph Marston
“For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else.”
Winston Churchill
“Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”
William James
“Man is what he believes.”
Anton Chekhov
“The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen.”
Frank Lloyd Wright
“In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.”
John Lilly
“Some things have to be believed to be seen.”
Ralph Hodgson
“The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.”
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”
Norman Vincent Peale
“There are admirable potentialities in every human being. Believe in your strength and your youth. Learn to repeat endlessly to yourself, 'It all depends on me.' “
Andre Gide
“Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.”
Arnold Bennett
“Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.”
Arnold Palmer
“Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.”
Samuel Johnson
“Act as if it were impossible to fail.” (My Favorite!!!)
Dorothea Brande
“Desire, ask, believe, receive.”
Stella Terrill Mann
“If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory.”
William Hazlitt
“Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.”
Colin Powell
“Energy and persistence conquer all things.”
Benjamin Franklin
“Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power.”
Seneca
“Knowledge is power.”
Sir Francis Bacon
“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.”
Abraham Lincoln
“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”
Unknown
“Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.”
Samuel Johnson
“You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.”
Rosalynn Carter
“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”
Norman Vincent Peale
“It is confidence in our bodies, minds and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures, new directions to grow in, and new lessons to learn - which is what life is all about.”
Oprah Winfrey
“When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.”
Joe Namath
“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.”
Abraham Lincoln
“To follow, without halt, one aim: There's the secret of success.”
Anna Pavlova
“Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop the picture... Do not build up obstacles in your imagination.”
Norman Vincent Peale
“Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.”
Reggie Leach
“You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.”
Albert Einstein
“See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.”
Ralph Marston
“Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious.”
Bill Meyer
"The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.”
William James
“Success is due less to ability than to zeal.”
Charles Buxton
"The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel are the things that endure. These qualities are so much more important than the events that occur."
Vince Lombardi
"It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from. The ability to triumph begins with you. Always."
Oprah Winfrey
"Vision is perhaps our greatest strength.. it has kept us alive to the power and continuity of thought through the centuries, it makes us peer into the future and lends shape to the unknown."
Li Ka Shing
"Continuous effort--not strength or intelligence--is the key to unlocking our potential."
Winston Churchill
"Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you're going to do now and do it."
William Durant
“We all live under the same sky, but we don't all have the same horizon.”
Konrad Adenauer
“Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles.”
Alex Karras
I-M-Possible!!!
“A man is but the product of his thoughts; what he thinks, he becomes.”
Mahatma Gandhi
“There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.”
W. Clement Stone
"Every thought of yours is a real thing---a force."
Prentice Mulford
"You create your own universe as you go along."
Winston Churchill
"Everyone visualizes whether he knows it or not. Visualizing is the great secret of success."
Genevieve Behrend
"Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions."
Albert Einstein
"Whatever the mind can conceive it can achieve."
W. Clement Stone
"Success comes from within, not from without."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Ninety-nine percent of who you are is invisible and untouchable."
R. Buckminster-Fuller
"All power is from within and therefore under our control."
Robert Collier
"Whether you think you can or think you can't, either way you are right."
Henry Ford
"The real secret of power is consciousness of power."
Charles Haanel
“An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
Winston Churchill
“You've done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.”
Ralph Marston
“For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else.”
Winston Churchill
“Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”
William James
“Man is what he believes.”
Anton Chekhov
“The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen.”
Frank Lloyd Wright
“In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.”
John Lilly
“Some things have to be believed to be seen.”
Ralph Hodgson
“The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.”
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”
Norman Vincent Peale
“There are admirable potentialities in every human being. Believe in your strength and your youth. Learn to repeat endlessly to yourself, 'It all depends on me.' “
Andre Gide
“Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.”
Arnold Bennett
“Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.”
Arnold Palmer
“Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.”
Samuel Johnson
“Act as if it were impossible to fail.” (My Favorite!!!)
Dorothea Brande
“Desire, ask, believe, receive.”
Stella Terrill Mann
“If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory.”
William Hazlitt
“Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.”
Colin Powell
“Energy and persistence conquer all things.”
Benjamin Franklin
“Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power.”
Seneca
“Knowledge is power.”
Sir Francis Bacon
“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.”
Abraham Lincoln
“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”
Unknown
“Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.”
Samuel Johnson
“You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.”
Rosalynn Carter
“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”
Norman Vincent Peale
“It is confidence in our bodies, minds and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures, new directions to grow in, and new lessons to learn - which is what life is all about.”
Oprah Winfrey
“When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.”
Joe Namath
“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.”
Abraham Lincoln
“To follow, without halt, one aim: There's the secret of success.”
Anna Pavlova
“Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop the picture... Do not build up obstacles in your imagination.”
Norman Vincent Peale
“Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.”
Reggie Leach
“You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.”
Albert Einstein
“See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.”
Ralph Marston
“Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious.”
Bill Meyer
"The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.”
William James
“Success is due less to ability than to zeal.”
Charles Buxton
"The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel are the things that endure. These qualities are so much more important than the events that occur."
Vince Lombardi
"It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from. The ability to triumph begins with you. Always."
Oprah Winfrey
"Vision is perhaps our greatest strength.. it has kept us alive to the power and continuity of thought through the centuries, it makes us peer into the future and lends shape to the unknown."
Li Ka Shing
"Continuous effort--not strength or intelligence--is the key to unlocking our potential."
Winston Churchill
"Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you're going to do now and do it."
William Durant
“We all live under the same sky, but we don't all have the same horizon.”
Konrad Adenauer
“Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles.”
Alex Karras
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
We are set for lift off!
This past weekend I ventured out to California for my 20th high-school reunion. Friday night there was a meet up at the old pub we all used to hang out at - Hennesseys. I was kind of disappointed in this since I saw a lot of familiar faces, but only really knew a handful of people. And yes, there were some clicky girls that still snubbed their noses (kinda made me laugh - really? 20 years later your still a bitch??? wow...get over it!). Others I was pleasantly surprised with. Unfortunately, I could only recognize a few of the guys. I didn't hang out with most of them anyway so I guess it does not matter.
I was kinda over the reunion thing after Hennesseys and I really drug my feet about going on Saturday. In the end I figured it was only another 3 hours of my life and I could endure it. Wow...I am so glad that I went!!! I got to see some wonderful people that I had not talked to in years! Of course, I did not get to spend as much time with people as I had wanted to, but like I said - it was only three hours. By the end of the night my feet hurt from standing and my face hurt from smiling so much. I have rekindled some old friendships I thought lost long ago and I strengthened other friendships! Thanks to Amy, Maya, Karon and Danielle, along with everyone else the night turned from a "have to go" to a wonderful happy evening among good peeps (my husband hates it when I use that word!)!!!
Leaving Cali was very difficult on Sunday. I had such a good time I wanted another night of it. Plus, leaving my family is always difficult. This time, knowing that I probably won't be back for a long time really hit home. If I get pregnant, well - traveling is out for me. And then it will be a while before I can take a baby on the plane.
Which leads me to the Title of this post. This weekend I received a call from the Nurse. My donor is now ready!!! I go in tomorrow (Wednesday) to figure out the plan and get things started. I will be put on a strict schedule /calendar. I will have more information tomorrow!!! Woohooo!!!! Mr. Toads Wild Ride (That is a Disney Land reference for those non Californians) here we come!
I was kinda over the reunion thing after Hennesseys and I really drug my feet about going on Saturday. In the end I figured it was only another 3 hours of my life and I could endure it. Wow...I am so glad that I went!!! I got to see some wonderful people that I had not talked to in years! Of course, I did not get to spend as much time with people as I had wanted to, but like I said - it was only three hours. By the end of the night my feet hurt from standing and my face hurt from smiling so much. I have rekindled some old friendships I thought lost long ago and I strengthened other friendships! Thanks to Amy, Maya, Karon and Danielle, along with everyone else the night turned from a "have to go" to a wonderful happy evening among good peeps (my husband hates it when I use that word!)!!!
Leaving Cali was very difficult on Sunday. I had such a good time I wanted another night of it. Plus, leaving my family is always difficult. This time, knowing that I probably won't be back for a long time really hit home. If I get pregnant, well - traveling is out for me. And then it will be a while before I can take a baby on the plane.
Which leads me to the Title of this post. This weekend I received a call from the Nurse. My donor is now ready!!! I go in tomorrow (Wednesday) to figure out the plan and get things started. I will be put on a strict schedule /calendar. I will have more information tomorrow!!! Woohooo!!!! Mr. Toads Wild Ride (That is a Disney Land reference for those non Californians) here we come!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Maybe I was wrong?
I finally heard from my nurse and she gave me different information than what I was expecting. She told me that the facility I have chosen has an 80% pregnancy rate for my type of IVF. I then specifically asked for the stats on my age group and she assured me that those ARE the stats for my age group. Since I need a donor, my stats would be different than what you see on the web for generic IVF. And, since the majority of my type of IVF is in the age group of over 40, my stats are good!!!!
I love it when I am wrong! :)
I leave tomorrow night for California to visit my family and also attend my 20th High-school reunion. I am getting tired of these short trips. I would love to be able to spend some time out there and really get to visit my family along with many friends that I always seem to miss. But it is always nice to be able to see my family. Next month I will head to Michigan and spend a bit of time with my grandma.
Random thought: Have you ever taken a few strawberries, cut them up, and put them in a big glass of water. I have been doing that now for two days and I love it! I always do that with lemon, lime and cucumber. But I am loving the strawberries right now! The flavor of the water is great, plus it gives it a beautiful cheery color!
I love it when I am wrong! :)
I leave tomorrow night for California to visit my family and also attend my 20th High-school reunion. I am getting tired of these short trips. I would love to be able to spend some time out there and really get to visit my family along with many friends that I always seem to miss. But it is always nice to be able to see my family. Next month I will head to Michigan and spend a bit of time with my grandma.
Random thought: Have you ever taken a few strawberries, cut them up, and put them in a big glass of water. I have been doing that now for two days and I love it! I always do that with lemon, lime and cucumber. But I am loving the strawberries right now! The flavor of the water is great, plus it gives it a beautiful cheery color!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Statistics
I was doing a little research on line yesterday and found that I have been misled about my chances for IVF success. I am a fairly even keeled person but this really made me angry. There is nothing like having an anxiety attack at work and feeling lost over every decision I have made thus far.
I found that the facility I have chosen does not even rank in the top 20 in the United States, yet another facility in Houston is ranked number 7. The number one IVF facility in the nation is out of Oregon. I was told that my chances are as follows: National statistics are about 65%, but my facility is so successful that it is around 72%. This may actually be correct, however what they did not tell me was that for my age group it is only between 28% to 38% success rate. You can imagine my frustration going from having a 65% chance to a 28% chance - just weeks away from the procedures. Since my facility did not post their stats on the web, I emailed them yesterday and asked for them. I have yet to hear back, but I would expect them to comply. They have been very good with my care so far.
While this was a minor setback, I have decided not to let it change my mind or my thinking. If a spirit has chosen me and Kirk, then it will come, regardless of the stats. Sometimes I picture myself with a healthy uterus, ready for a baby. Other times I picture myself pregnant. I have many visions in my mind that help me stay on track and optimistic. Each morning, throughout the day and every night I say to myself (most of the time out loud) "I have a 100% chance of having happy healthy babies." I know this is helping me stay confident and focused.
Kirk left for offshore yesterday morning. Last night was my first night alone and I did not sleep very well. My plan was to get up early and go to the gym for a long swim. However, in the middle of the night I felt like I needed to take a long walk so I changed my mind and decided to hit the treadmill. When I actually got up to go - I went to take the dogs out and decided I needed to walk the dogs outside instead of the treadmill. So, we went for a long walk at 5:30 in the morning. It felt good to be with them and to feel the heat and humidity on me. I ended up going to the gym after that but found myself lost. I just wandered around for 30 minutes not doing anything. I finally got a good stretch and then went and sat in the steam room. It was a worthless trip, but I am still glad I got to spend the time this morning with my kiddos.
Since I don't feel like I got enough exercise, I will go to the pool tonight and swim. Then I will get up and do it all over again tomorrow morning. I need to get back into a routine.
I found that the facility I have chosen does not even rank in the top 20 in the United States, yet another facility in Houston is ranked number 7. The number one IVF facility in the nation is out of Oregon. I was told that my chances are as follows: National statistics are about 65%, but my facility is so successful that it is around 72%. This may actually be correct, however what they did not tell me was that for my age group it is only between 28% to 38% success rate. You can imagine my frustration going from having a 65% chance to a 28% chance - just weeks away from the procedures. Since my facility did not post their stats on the web, I emailed them yesterday and asked for them. I have yet to hear back, but I would expect them to comply. They have been very good with my care so far.
While this was a minor setback, I have decided not to let it change my mind or my thinking. If a spirit has chosen me and Kirk, then it will come, regardless of the stats. Sometimes I picture myself with a healthy uterus, ready for a baby. Other times I picture myself pregnant. I have many visions in my mind that help me stay on track and optimistic. Each morning, throughout the day and every night I say to myself (most of the time out loud) "I have a 100% chance of having happy healthy babies." I know this is helping me stay confident and focused.
Kirk left for offshore yesterday morning. Last night was my first night alone and I did not sleep very well. My plan was to get up early and go to the gym for a long swim. However, in the middle of the night I felt like I needed to take a long walk so I changed my mind and decided to hit the treadmill. When I actually got up to go - I went to take the dogs out and decided I needed to walk the dogs outside instead of the treadmill. So, we went for a long walk at 5:30 in the morning. It felt good to be with them and to feel the heat and humidity on me. I ended up going to the gym after that but found myself lost. I just wandered around for 30 minutes not doing anything. I finally got a good stretch and then went and sat in the steam room. It was a worthless trip, but I am still glad I got to spend the time this morning with my kiddos.
Since I don't feel like I got enough exercise, I will go to the pool tonight and swim. Then I will get up and do it all over again tomorrow morning. I need to get back into a routine.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Our IVF
First, I know I cannot have children on my own. In spite of my family telling me that I can, I have the scientific proof to back that I have less than a 1% chance. If I have a miracle baby, I have less than a 2% chance of carrying it to term. This all has to do with the flow of hormones from my pituitary gland in my head to and from my ovaries. In normal menopause, the two chemicals going back and forth between these organs slows down when eggs are no longer viable. In my case, the two are just not working together and one will fire off too much one week and then it will switch the next week. Not a single one of my extensive tests shows any type of pattern. They just fire willy nilly. So, without a true name for my crazy hormonal behavior they diagnosed me with peri-menopause (premature menopause). These hormones are vital for not only conceiving a child but also maintaining a healthy environment for their survival.
Now, say I did have healthy eggs and could get pregnant. Well, I mentioned in a previous post, I have one too many spacers on my DNA chain to have a healthy baby boy. This new technology is amazing. I can't remember the name of it at the moment. For some reason it always seems to slips my mind.
So, our choices are either go through with the IVF, or look into adoption. I will talk about our research in to adoption in another post. That seems to be a very long story - and unfortunately just as expensive as IVF. Right now, if I have the chance to bond with a baby by carrying it and it also share DNA with my husband, then I would rather try that first. After much research, and long talks with Kirk, we finally came to the conclusion that IVF is our fist priority. If that does not work, we will look further in to foster and adoption programs.
Step one - take all tests possible to make sure you are a candidate for IVF. Let me assure you that the costs of these tests are NOT included in the cost of the IVF program. The good news is that most of them are covered under medical insurance. However, once we truly enter the program, nothing further will be covered. It is out of our own pockets as well as being able to use the medical spending accounts through work. I think the decision to go through IVF was a no brainer for me. It was the monetary part that caused us the greatest amount of stress. And it is the main reason it took us over a year to finally go through with it.
Step two - choose a donor. I already explained this process earlier. I am pretty sure we picked a good one. She was not on the list the first time we looked and we were happy to see her. We had a huge problem with the list of donors. It was hard to choose one since we did not really like any of them. Now, I am not saying this was the case, but it appeared that they were there just to make money. Some even looked like they came from poverty and looked like they live a very hard life. Most were not educated, and I kid you not - could not even spell or form a structured sentance. I am a terrible speller so when I think someone is worse than me, I know there is a problem. Several did not bother to fill out the questionaire about family history or answer questions about themselves. And the cherry on top was the ones that posted ameture "sexy" photos of themseves.
Our top 4 were decent looking young woman that were either highly educated or highly articulate. All of them had some form of uniqueness to them that we liked. Then we went down to our top three and it was a tough decision from there. But the one we settled on as a top pick was a little gem. She appeared to be a well rounded, carismatic and compassionate person. Our number two pick was very comparable to #1, but she had blue eyes instead of hazel. If # 1 was not available we would hopefully get #2. #1 is ready and willing. Our start date is hopefully this week. She is supposed to start her cycle on August 3rd. Once she does, we go to a strict calendar. The whole process should take about 5-6 weeks.
Step three - that is where we are at right now. Once we start the process I will write more. Please keep us in your positive thoughts and prayers. We need all the help we can get!
Now, say I did have healthy eggs and could get pregnant. Well, I mentioned in a previous post, I have one too many spacers on my DNA chain to have a healthy baby boy. This new technology is amazing. I can't remember the name of it at the moment. For some reason it always seems to slips my mind.
So, our choices are either go through with the IVF, or look into adoption. I will talk about our research in to adoption in another post. That seems to be a very long story - and unfortunately just as expensive as IVF. Right now, if I have the chance to bond with a baby by carrying it and it also share DNA with my husband, then I would rather try that first. After much research, and long talks with Kirk, we finally came to the conclusion that IVF is our fist priority. If that does not work, we will look further in to foster and adoption programs.
Step one - take all tests possible to make sure you are a candidate for IVF. Let me assure you that the costs of these tests are NOT included in the cost of the IVF program. The good news is that most of them are covered under medical insurance. However, once we truly enter the program, nothing further will be covered. It is out of our own pockets as well as being able to use the medical spending accounts through work. I think the decision to go through IVF was a no brainer for me. It was the monetary part that caused us the greatest amount of stress. And it is the main reason it took us over a year to finally go through with it.
Step two - choose a donor. I already explained this process earlier. I am pretty sure we picked a good one. She was not on the list the first time we looked and we were happy to see her. We had a huge problem with the list of donors. It was hard to choose one since we did not really like any of them. Now, I am not saying this was the case, but it appeared that they were there just to make money. Some even looked like they came from poverty and looked like they live a very hard life. Most were not educated, and I kid you not - could not even spell or form a structured sentance. I am a terrible speller so when I think someone is worse than me, I know there is a problem. Several did not bother to fill out the questionaire about family history or answer questions about themselves. And the cherry on top was the ones that posted ameture "sexy" photos of themseves.
Our top 4 were decent looking young woman that were either highly educated or highly articulate. All of them had some form of uniqueness to them that we liked. Then we went down to our top three and it was a tough decision from there. But the one we settled on as a top pick was a little gem. She appeared to be a well rounded, carismatic and compassionate person. Our number two pick was very comparable to #1, but she had blue eyes instead of hazel. If # 1 was not available we would hopefully get #2. #1 is ready and willing. Our start date is hopefully this week. She is supposed to start her cycle on August 3rd. Once she does, we go to a strict calendar. The whole process should take about 5-6 weeks.
Step three - that is where we are at right now. Once we start the process I will write more. Please keep us in your positive thoughts and prayers. We need all the help we can get!
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